Valentine’s Day

I forgot it was Valentine’s Day today. When I was married we didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day since our anniversary was later in February. We chose to avoid the hype and the crowds and the difficult dinner reservations and celebrate love on our special day. 

You know what I miss? I miss being “in love.” I loved being in love. I loved having my guy come home and sharing my life with someone special. When I would write my gratitude lists at night, Peter was always number 1 on my list. Before everything else. Dogs, job, God, house, good food, lots of friends…always followed after Peter.

Now, as I recreate my future I am wondering – was that one relationship enough? Am I complete by having a 25-year marriage? Do I need to be “in love” anymore or is my life perfect just as it is?

When I was first going through the divorce and chatting with close friends, some said, “I would never get married again especially if what happened to you happened to me.” Others shared that they would be very open to another relationship but it wasn’t crucial. And as I am in my early 60’s I don’t want to be a nurse or a purse for an aging paramour. 

I have shared that while wading through dating sites I dealt with catfishers and others who weren’t trustworthy. When the most important person in your life was not trustworthy, it’s hard to open up your heart again. So do I play it safe and enjoy time with friends and my dogs and my books and my travel? Or do I allow my heart to open up again and see what shows up?

If you have experiences to share, I would like to hear them.

And Happy Valentine’s Day!