I continue to tiptoe on the dating sites and right now I’m playing on Ourtime. As you might have read on my prior posts, I had to shove off some teenagers, but overall, it’s been an okay experience.
When I started my blog, one of my commitments was to be vulnerable and share my adventures in case it helps other women in similar experiences. So, ladies, buckle up your seat belts and listen to my stories! Some are fun…others…hmmm…
I am changing the names of the guys to protect their privacy. Although they probably will never find their way to my blog. Here are a few of my adventures. More to follow in future posts.
“MARK”
Mark is a former marine. Cool! I like those who have served our country. We had two lovely meet ups. We had brunch in South Redondo and then dinner the next week in the same area. It was fun! Here’s what is fascinating…we were going to meet up for Date #3 yesterday – walk on the beach with one of my pups and then maybe happy hour at a dog friendly patio. He texted me yesterday morning. “Where are we meeting?” I suggested parking at my church and walking to the beach from there. Then…three hours later… “Sorry, I don’t think I’m going to make it – I don’t know what you want as a partner.”
Okay…hmmm. I reached out and said I wasn’t sure where this came from and said I’m tiptoeing back into the dating world after 30 years and am taking it slow and I am enjoying meeting people before rushing into a relationship.
His reply: “You haven’t been trying to create another relationship with a new adult. I am no snowflake but you lack empathy and are rude.”
???
I was gobsmacked. I honestly have no clue what he’s talking about. A week earlier he said I was kind and attractive. He was sending me frequent texts with various emojis. Why is someone texting me in the morning asking to meet up and then insulting me a few hours later?
I thanked him for his candor and asked him to let me know what he was talking about. If I did something wrong or inadvertently offended him, I would like to know. Crickets… I shared this with friends and they think he’s off his meds. Most people who know me know lacking empathy is not in my wheelhouse. Next!
“DARRYL”
Darryl is a very nice guy. He’s from India and very pleasant. However, we have absolutely nothing in common. We went out twice. After our first meet up at a coffee house, he texted me the next day saying he misses me. Ummm…no . We had coffee. Why is someone missing someone after a 2 hour coffee date? Weird, yes?
We met up one more time for a walk with my pup and happy hour. It was a very pleasant afternoon. But he is so introverted – it was like pulling teeth to have a conversation with him. What I did not realize in my marriage was that Peter was really introverted. He hid it well. Darryl is really introverted and didn’t try to hide it. I was so bored. What I didn’t know was that while I was trying to figure out how to tiptoe out of this interaction, Darryl was ready to walk us down the aisle. When we got to my car, he kissed me and held my hand and told me he loved me. Ummm…no… Two meet ups. Phooey.
The next day he told me he thought about “us” all night. I had to reach out to him gently and say thank you, I am flattered but no.
I know there are decent men out there. I also am not sure if I want to continue searching. I am doing pretty darn good on my own with my friends and dogs, stacks of books and my remote. I am still in contact with some other nice men on the site. I have met up with a few of them and may meet up with the others.
In a way it’s overwhelming. I had thought I was done with dating when I walked down the aisle in 1996 and declared “For better or for worse!” I never thought I would be going on dates again. I am ambivalent – do I keep going or just take a breath and be okay being solo? It is an adventure.
Musings About Life 