Those pesky dating sites – I am done! (for now)

I tried – I really tried – but I am taking a break. I just “celebrated” the third anniversary of my divorce. I never wanted to be divorced. I loved being married and I thought Peter was awesome. In many ways, I still do think he’s awesome.

During the past three years I tip-toed through various dating sites and wanted to give them a try. But after dealing with catfishers, men from states that were many many states away (what part of a 60-mile radius does the app not understand?) and guys in their 20s, or guys who couldn’t string a sentence together or had barely graduated from high school (yep, I am a snob and would like someone who is literate), or guys who were hitting on me to take advantage of a nurse or a purse, or guys lurking in their Nigerian basement deciding that because I am single, I am recently divorced, I don’t have kids, I ride horses and travel and sail I must be lonely and rich and needy and am ready to give my worldly goods to someone, I give up. I would like to meet someone who might be close to my social-economic standing. Not that hard to ask, right? I think I could be a good catch. I get I’m not 30 years old or a size 2 but I am intelligent, witty, kind, employed, have a healthy 401(k) and rescue dogs regularly and run blood drives. I have no debt and my credit score is just about perfect. My house is cute too and recently renovated. Really comfy couches in the living room.

I wrote about prior dating adventures. Check them out on my earlier posts. Recently I went out with “Jeff.” Okay, yes, his name really is Jeff. I liked him. We had two dates and then – ghosted. It’s rather amusing to be ghosted. I never went through that before. Now, I am not needy and have no interest in begging for a date, but I reached out – “Hey, Jeff! Hope all is well. Curious what happened. If you are not interested, no worries, but I was wondering if all is okay?” He texted me back. “So sorry, I was out of town.” In his defense, he was dealing with a friend’s estate and said he was in Kansas for several weeks figuring things out. Great! We met up for another lunch. Great lunch. He texted me saying, “Kathy, I had a great time.” So did I. Then crickets. I texted him a couple of times after the lunch. Nothing. More crickets. No begging. His loss. But I don’t understand why people just disappear. Be honest. Be authentic. Don’t be a wimp and hide.

Meet “Dan.” (Okay, his name really is Dan.) I thought Dan might be a fun meet-up. We chatted quite a bit and planned a lunch for last week. I had been on vacation and we had the day on the calendar for several weeks and I was tasked to pick the restaurant. I reached out to him and said I had some suggestions for good locations and could we meet at 1:00 because my cleaning lady would be leaving at 12:30 and I had a 3:00 appointment later that day? (My cleaning lady is scared of big dogs so when she is here I am hunkered down in the office with my two dogs so I need to be around while she is here). I would think 2 hours was enough for a first date. Right? He went ballistic. Accused me of being controlling and rude and he’s not interested in meeting up that day. Whew. Not sure what happened. He also had scheduled an appointment for that morning, so for him to be mad at me – kettle is not impressed with pot. I did find out he is a snob about Italian food and no local restaurant was good enough, so perhaps it was good we didn’t meet up. There are a ton of good local Italian restaurants and he wasn’t interested in them. NEXT!

I think what is frustrating with dating in this new millennium is that people want immediate chemistry. They don’t give you a chance for date 2 or 3. It’s not like when we hung out in class or on the tennis team or spent time in hobbies where we got to know each other.

In the meantime, my dogs are good buddies and if I am done with dating I think I can deal with it. But if you have a referral I will listen.